A NotSoQuiet Dinner
by Kureyn
Summary: New chapter up - sorta. A few smaller shots from a while back that I never got around to putting up till now.
1. Chapter 1

"I guess it really has been a while," Fayt mused in between spoonfuls of his soup. "I haven't had a room all to myself since leaving my own home... a couple months ago, it's been by now."

Nel narrowed her eyes at him slightly while blowing on her own stew to cool it down a bit. "Just don't mess the room up too badly, alright? Just because the rest of the group is at the inn doesn't mean you can rearrange the guest room entirely."

Clair giggled behind her hand for a moment, finished chewing, and gave Nel a lopsided grin. "I highly doubt he can make the room look any worse than my father has, several times now."

Fayt just shook his head, staring off into space. "I'm not thinking of moving the furniture or anything, I just haven't slept in anything less than fully dressed in weeks, let alone raw. The beds here are really nice, and-" CLATTER "...what?"

Farleen's fork had dropped from her hand as she stared at Fayt. Tynave waved her hand in front of her purple-haired partner's face a couple times before she snapped back to reality with a high-pitched moan. "Thanks a whole lot, Fayt. That image ensures I'll be way too busy to get any sleep tonight."

Fayt blushed and went back to his food - but the consequences weren't done yet. "Oh, no. If she's going to do that all night, I may as well do the same."

Nel stared at her blond subordinate for a few moments before gathering enough courage to ask, "How does that work?"

Tynave sank her face into her hands. "We share a room, remember? I'll -never- be able to sleep through that much squeaking. You know how a mouse sounds when you catch it by the tail? That 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE' noise? That's what I'm in for, every 15 minutes, the whole night. I might as well amuse myself as well, since I'm not going to be getting any sleep."

Fayt's face had been getting redder and redder, and finally he excused himself from the table. "This is entirely too much information for me. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for bed."

Clair spat out a spoonful of soup. "Well, thank you very much, Fayt. THAT image is going to be haunting me in a similar manner tonight. There's not going to be a lot of work getting done in this mansion this evening..."

Nel rolled her eyes. "Not you too, Clair? Those two, I can see keeping themselves or possibly each other busy all night-" "Lady Nel!" "No way!" "-but I honestly expected more self-control out of you."

Clair gave the redhead a sidelong look. "Self-control? Should I take that to mean that you're feeding off these images as well?"

Nel shook her head a moment, blushing slightly, and said the first defense that came to mind - "Of course not, he's much hotter on the battlefield than-" She stopped herself in midsentence, her face now the same bright crimson as her hair. "I think I may need a very -cold- shower when you're done, Fayt."

Fayt shook his head. "Look, I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. But I think I know how to fix all this."

Clair looked at him with a new curiosity. Nel looked at him warily. Tynave's expression was unreadable, and Farleen just looked hungrily. But he had all of their attention. So he dropped the hammer.

"Just imagine, for a moment..."

"Yes?" "Yes?" "What?" "Go on."

"Adray naked. MENTAL PICTURES."

"..." "..." "..." "..."

Their already overactive imaginations proved to be their undoing.

"OH, APRIS, NO!" "UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!" "UGH, NOT MY FATHER!" "I NEED TO STAB SOMEONE IN THE FACE -RIGHT NOW-."

"You're welcome, ladies. Good night."


	2. A Few More Shots

Fayt paused, his hand on the Sacred Orb. The OPA, the artifact of administration within the Eternal Sphere, gave him the power he needed to perform almost any whim he could imagine within the program. His hand trembled with the possible power. What if, just for a moment, he could forget all the responsibility, all the pressure? What if he could use it to achieve his greatest desire?

Unable to contain himself any longer, Fayt gave in to his most dire temptation. He raised the orb, and put on a menacing grin as he faced the rest of the group. Maria and Cliff saw the look in his eyes. "No, Fayt! Please, you can't!" "It's not worth it, kid!" But they were far too slow. He concentrated, gathered his will... And, with one of the most powerful objects in the universe...

CLUNK! He pegged Albel in the forehead.

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"And what would you like to file a patent for today?" Welch smiled expectantly at Fayt over the communicator.

"Well, I made this nice pearl necklace. I haven't heard any of the other craftsmen making any, so I think it's a new invention. And do we really, REALLY need to do this via the communicator? I'm in the workshop across the street from you. I could walk for maybe a minute and be talking to you face to face."

"You know the rules, Fayt. The Guild Master made them, and all of the inventors have to follow them. But yeah, I'd give it a tentative rating of about 30-"

"WHAAAAT?! You can't file a patent for THAT!"

Fayt recoiled for a moment. "Adray? What are you talking about?"

"I can guarantee you that's not an original invention. I invented the pearl necklace over 20 years ago."

Welch gave a deadpan look through the monitor, obviously not believing him. "With those sausage fingers? Do you happen to remember exactly when you created your pearl necklace?"

"Of course I do. It was exactly 23 years ago, in May. My memory may be going, but you can be damned sure I remember making a 'pearl necklace' on my wife. What do you think led to us making Clair?" He guffawed, obviously amused at himself.

Welch just stood there silently for a few moments before hefting her giant hand-tipped staff. "Fayt, keep him there for a moment. I'm going to make that one-minute walk across the street and invent a new medical technique or two."

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Sophia was more nervous than she'd ever been. "I really don't know if I'm cut out for this... and I'm certain this costume isn't cut out for me."

Peppita slapped her on the back in a friendly manner. "Aw, c'mon, Sophia. Just give it a try! Ursus'll catch you if you fall, I promise!"

Mirage shook her had sadly. How did Peppita ever talk Sophia into trying the high-wire act, of all things? And in one of the small girl's spare costumes, no less. It was at least 4 sizes too small... "Fayt would die of nasal blood loss if he saw her like that."

Cliff simply leered at her comment. "Why don't you try one on? I'm sure it'd suit you very nicely."

Mirage looked at him, and smiled. And drove her fist firmly into his gut, followed by an elbow to the base of his skull as he bent over.

By the time he woke up, Cliff was the one in the costume instead. Dangling by his foot, tied to the trapeze, swinging lightly.

"Y'know... I was expecting worse from her for that."


End file.
